Jon's Knit Blog

If You Were Me

If you were me, today you would have:

1: Worn a purple shirt
2: Had a turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayo sandwich for lunch
3: Seen a riveting show on Broadway which should have won the Tony for Best Musical but oddly, did not. It's called "The Light in The Piazza" and you would soon be recommending it to everyone you talk to
4: Bought a purple umbrella
5: Bought a new pair of shoes. On sale, even!
6: Bought a pair of orange socks. Also on sale!
7: Bought a ticket for "Swan Lake" so that Mom can see it with me! (She's coming to the City next week)
8: Made a joke to a cheese seller at dinner about the Monty Python Cheese Shop Sketch
9: Hit on a different waiter at the same dinner
10: Been interrupted from said dinner by two separate cellphone calls
11: Gone to the ballet and watched sexy men in tights do astonishing things with their legs. From all too far of a distance
12: Been frustrated by the fact that although you have two tickets for a different Broadway show for tomorrow evening, all your friends (and even mere acquaintances, and a cyberperson or two whom I have not yet even met) are all busy
13: Added a bunch of things to this list so many times that you started to regret numbering it in the first place
14: Posted the following photograph to your blog:

And then you would ask the beloved readership of your blog the following question, even though you think you already have a good idea about the answer to said question:

Given the color scheme of the knit part, and the colors of the fabric lining part, and the fact that the blankie is for a baby girl, which of the three balls of yarn at top would you use to knit the border? The Funky Pink on the left, the warm yellow in the center or the Salmon Pink on the right?

Or would you just use the pastel pink in the next picture?

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese

I have said it before, and I'll say it again:

Knitting while trying to watch Monty Python is a bad idea. In fact, anything with John Cleese. I tried to both knit Rosetta and watch a few episodes of "Fawlty Towers" tonight which I had TiVoed on BBC America over the weekend (sorry if all of those should have been hyperlinks; I'm feeling sleepy and lazy.) Anyhow, it's a good thing they have commercials, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get any knitting done. As it is, I got 7 rows done. Rosetta is now over 20 inches long! Sadly, that's nowhere near long enough, as the blankie is around 36-ish inches wide. Even though I know it's ok for one measurement to be less than 36, I have this compulsion that the height, ie, the direction in which it's knit, must be longer than the width (ie, the selvege must be longer than the cast on.) And that's going to take a number more rows and squares and madness yet.

Oh, and I almost entitled this entry "The Mayor of Intarsiaville" - because I shook Mayor Mike's hand this afternoon, and I somehow think he'd be amused to know that the hand he shook was knitting intarsia mere hours later. (And we're just not going to tell him about some of the other naughtiness that hand gets up to, now will we?)

Oops

I keep forgetting to knit on Rosetta. Being that I leave for London, also known as where the baby will be born in about a month, in about six weeks, I figure I better get cracking.

Which is why it's unfortunate that it's bedtime.

I Can't Believe I Knit The Whole Skein

Yes, Phyl, there is orange Koigu.

I bought it at KNY on Friday evening because, well, I didn't think I was going to go to Boyz Night - The Karaoke Version until the very last minute, and I didn't have any knitting with me, but I really wanted to be knitting. Well, there was orange Koigu sitting there wanting to be a hat, and who was I to tell it no?

So the yarn and I went off to Karaoke, accompanied by KNY's lovely and talented Vanessa (Hi Vanessa!) where we found a small but fabulous group of boyz, most of whom were not even knitting. Jim was, though! We sang and sang and sang. It was very amusing - the place had, apparantly, two karaoke suites. The other suite was singing all this 80's rock. Aerosmith, stuff like that. "Straight music."

We, on the other hand, had Gay Karaoke, of course. We were, to put it mildly, fabulous. Tina Turner. Whitney. We did a rousing version of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." And the old standbys like "Where the Boys Are" and most of the score of "Chicago." Our "Sixteen Going On Seventeen" was almost as good as our "Telephone Hour." I have to confess, I rather brought down the house with my rendition of Reba McEntire's hit "Fancy."

And I knit orange Koigu almost all the while!

Saturday was spent working. Until I came home, and I really meant to knit intarsia, because, well, the baby will be born soon and I assume she'll need a blankie. But the orange Koigu was still hollering that it wasn't a hat yet.

And the same thing happened when I got home from work tonight.

And the orange Koigu is starting to resemble a hat, don't you think? (I have actually done a couple crown decreases, but you can't tell, can you?)

That's a whole skein of Koigu, right there! Knit up in three evenings. Luckily for the Koigu, as it really wants to be a hat, I bought two skeins. So we'll actually be able to make the Koigu's dream come true!

In other news, I have one of the largest heads ever known to Vanessa-kind. Vanessa, who claims millinery (the making of non-knit hats for the unknowing) among her many talents, advised us of the largest head circumfrence she had ever witnessed in her head-measuring days. Well, the measuring tape was quickly around my head, and I out-circumfrenced them by a good 1/2". (24 3/4" in case you care.) I have a BIG head. But I don't let it go to my head. I just have to knit big hats.

And one other housekeeping-ish note: If you google knit blog, I come up as NUMBER 5! How astonishing is that? Wow!

A Beautiful Thing

Don't you just love the way Koigu KPPPM looks when it's knit up in stockinette? And don't you love it even more when it's in the round, so you don't have to purl? (Actually, I really enjoy purling, but it's nice to have the mindlessness of endless knit stitches, not to mention never having to turn the knitting over.)

Anyhow, this is 132 stitches of pure Koigu goodness knit in the round. Why, it's going to be a scarf, I say. Or at least, I hope. I only bought five skeins, and now I wish I had purchased more. (But I sent an email to Kristine to see if she has more, now that it's a couple weeks since I was at the store.) I'm knitting the scarf in the round, and then I plan to graft the ends closed so that it's a big long stockinette tube which becomes a long rectangle when pressed. So it won't have any "wrong side." I think it will be fun. And at any rate, it will be glorious? I mean, how can you not love these colors?

Yay!

A Question

I didn't knit anything yesterday. I did, however, frog the twisted Koigu.

But here's a thought for the day:

How do blind people with seeing eye dogs know where to poop-scoop?

Hey, Phyl!

There's an orange restaurant in New York City!

In other news, I cut a bunch of pieces of yarn for Rosetta, knit a color-change row, and started a new project. Which is knit in the round. And I twisted it. Damn it.

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful Busy

Sorry, my beloved readers. No time to blog today. I have get to have lunch with my friend who's deserting me leaving NYC to move to Texas. The bitch.

Anyhow, I should think of some cute and pithy question so that you all can leave witty and intelligent comments. But I'm at a loss. So the cute and pithy question du jour is inspired by Phyl, lover of orange. What is your favorite color? (And by the way, if you're reading this out loud, you have to read that sentence just like Tim delivered the line in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail.") Now comment! Comment, damn it prithee!

Manly Tears

OK, so you know I'm a sap, so how could I do anything but cry at my sister's wedding? And even though this post has just about no knitting content, I hope you'll read it all the way through.

I should probably start telling the story of the long "weekend" by starting at the beginning. The trip began rather inauspiciously with the need to use the men's room at LaGuardia. I went to the entrance only to be completely confused because a woman was exiting. Another guy who had also been intending to enter and I gave each other looks as if to say, "What the fuck?"

Lo and behold, we were at the right restroom, and she had erred. Would you believe, then, that this was not the only time over the course of the weekend that I saw "improperly gendered" use of public restrooms (there were two at the wedding!)

Anyhow, I got to Ohio on Wednesday and helped my mom finish up with the placecards and seat assignments, then we prepared for the onslaught of tons of family. And it was fabulous to see everyone!

Thursday was all about errands: haircuts, and such like. I told my mom that after my haircut I was going to stop at the mall because I really needed a new pair of sunglasses. She proceeded to forget that little note, and called me frantically while I was trying to get into my rental car to leave the mall. I think she thought I was dead in a ditch, although as soon as she got me on the phone, she remembered that I was at the mall. And I do love my new Revo's!

We had a small dinner at my parent's house on Thursday evening. We fed about 14 people for around $300. Bear in mind that I'd had a $300+ dinner for two on Tuesday... So that was sort of trippy!

Friday was spent running around, picking up cousins at the airport, driving everyone everywhere, and the like. The rehearsal dinner was, well, just what you'd expect although I have to say, none of us particularly seem to care for our new in-laws so we did manage to sneak in a few laughs and rude comments at their expense. Still, it was (mostly) nice, although it turns out his dad is a terrible public speaker. I think he said "Um" more often than he said actual words. I also found out that his wife doesn't know how to spell the word "assuming." (She thinks it's assumming. Guess she wants to rhyme with her husband's "Um"s...) No walk-on role for her in "Spelling Bee," I guess!

My sister gave me a gift for being part of her wedding, and she came and sat next to me while I opened it and read the card. It's maybe too personal to tell you what she said (I trust, dear reader, that you won't be offended that I said that), but I will tell you that I was sobbing when I was done reading the card. Big, wet, round tears. Big hugs with the sister. I'll never forget that moment.

Oh, and the pink Giotto flouncy scarf was a gift to the flower girl, who absolutely went gaga over it. It looked so cute on her!

Saturday the first phone call I got was from my sister, asking me to bring the veil and her "hair jewelry" (what's the right term for this? It was a lovely piece that fastened to her head by bobby pins, so I know it was not a barrette, but it was lovely anyhow). How she forgot to bring these to the salon herself is beyond me, but I didn't mind at all going over there. Until I saw the make-up lady applying cover-up (or something) to my mom's, um, decolletage. Didn't need to see that. Got coffee and left. Probably need more therapy now. Joy.

Went back to the house to get ready for the photographers, videographer, wedding planner, bridesmaids, bride, mother, groomsmen, groom, and probably about 1,500 assorted characters to show up. We did photos before the wedding, everyone together, at the house. So he ended up getting to see her in her dress well before the moment of walking down the aisle. But the cool part? I was the one who got to "escort" him around the back of the house and "introduce" him to his bride, if you will. I'm getting minorly teary just remembering that moment.

The weather was almost perfect - it had been mostly to partly sunny so far, but the wedding day itself was actually overcast - which made for great photos, as nobody ended up having to squint into the sunlight, and the light was very diffused. It did manage to rain a couple of drops, but as Em reminded us last weekend, a couple drops of rain on a wedding day makes for good luck. So no worries there!

Here's where I can insert another mis-use of bathroom story. My sister, just as the groom is processing, announces that she has to pee. Does she have time? The music is on, suddenly I'm holding her flowers, and the wedding planner's telling the next processional girl to "Walk slow! Extra slow!" Luckily, the musicians have to finish "Air in G" before they stay "Claire de Lune" which is the music for the bride's attendants. And so Mom decides to go to see if she needs help. By running into the Men's Room! Luckily, everyone made it out on time.

The wedding itself was gorgeous. I was the "Man of Honor" and as such, got to walk myself down the aisle. I was crying so hard I could barely remember the 1-1000 2-1000 count the wedding planner had told us to use for pacing our procession. Hell, I could barely walk! But I made it up there, and only proceeded to cry more and more throughout the ceremony. Good thing I'd thought ahead in the handkerchief department!

The ceremony was incredible. The rabbi really made his speeches so much about my sister. The fact that he took the time to make it especially about her meant so much to all of us. It was beautiful.

And so was the reception. I've never seen my parents dancing like that. And the dance lessons my sister and her fiance husband took really paid off. They were superstars, and their first dance was just gorgeous.

Later during the reception, as I was ducking into the kitchen to ask the wedding planner something (what, you think she coudl do her job without me? Bwahahaha!), I saw a guy coming out of the ladies' room. So, so, sooooooo confusing!

But I have to say, the whole weekend was just wonderful. They're in Hawaii now, and who couldn't be jealous of that? As for me, I still can't quite believe that my baby sister was married.

I also can't quite believe that my mom, at some point after the ceremony, told me that she wished the same for me. Regardless of the permanent prolonged single-ness of my life, I don't know that even if I did find "the guy" which I consider altogether unlikely, that I'd want to have the whole fancy wedding thing.

What's that? Take the money and run? Hell yes. That way, I'll be able to buy more yarn. Imagine how much yarn you could buy for what a wedding costs these days!

Fair Warning

My bank just changed the online banking system. There used to be a "Official balance" which was whatever the balance was the last time the account "posted" for the day. There was also "current balance" which reflected what had not posted but still affected your fund availability.

Today, out of the blue, with no notice (as far as I know), they changed "Current balance" to "Pending Transactions." So I showed a negative $55. I thought it was my balance, and I freaked out. It was merely that tomorrow's balance will be $55 less than yesterdays.

Egads.

How often does your bank give you a heart attack? Maybe I should change.

Anyhow, it's about a thousand degrees here in NYC, and there's no air, as it has all been replaced by humidity. So it was particularly droll to see a homeless man who I passed on my way home tonight (drunk-ish again, I might add), who is currently living in an air conditioner box. I guess we file that under "wishful thinking"?

Anyhow, I'm off to my sister's wedding and I'll be back on Sunday night. Blogging will, sadly, be interemittent to non-existent between now and then. But I'll be back on Monday. With a brother-in-law! (aka one more person to knit for. Egads!)

One Done. One Nowhere Near.

The second flounce is knitted, and the ends are woven. By the way, it will look so much better when it's being worn than when it's draped over a bunch of intarsia squares.

And I got a decent amount of secret project done tonight, too. I guess I need to find out if the secret project really has to be. Maybe I can reveal all unto you, dear readers!

So the consensus seems to be pink seed stitch for the border. Now, I'm just afraid I'm going to have to make a swatch so I can pick up stitches sideways across it so I find out how many to pick up so it doesn't pucker. The question? Do I just do a seed stitch swatch and go by measurement? Or do I make a small sample of the stockinette and then pick up and see what it really looks like? Oy, more knitting to do!

You Must Remember This

Between Boyz Night and a productive three-movie-on-TiVo night this evening, Rosetta's actually growing again. I can hardly believe it's been so long since I've worked on the blankie.

It's roughly 35" wide and 20" long right now.

Can you imagine how much I wish I were working on a non-intarsia pattern right now?

I actually did spend some time last night, when I was drunk-ish, working on a top secret garter stitch project. That was fun. And I wasn't so drunk that I couldn't actually knit well, which was a comforting realization. But I will say, you have to be sober to knit on Rosetta.

I probably would have gotten more done had I not been watching some cry-enducing movies. See, my sister is getting marrried this coming weekend, so I've been TiVo-ing some of the wedding flicks that she loves or that have been family faves. Tonight's watching was "Father of the Bride" and "Father of the Bride II" with the incredibly talented Steve Martin. Yay. Fun. How much do we love Franck? (Do you know what I'm even talking about?) Can we imagine what Franck would say about the Rosetta Blankie?

One other Rosetta note/question. I was thinking about doing a multi-colored ribbed border around the blankie. But over the weekend, I started thinking that just doing a pink seed stitch border might be better. I would like to know what you think, dear readers! Let me know!

Note To Self

Even though it may seem like a good idea at the time, do not drink an entire bottle of wine if you have to work the next morning. No matter how good it tastes.

Flounce and Flair

A reader (Hi, Colleen!) asked where I found the pattern for the Flouncy Scarf. Well, that's easy. I made it up.

It's really easy. Get a skein of Colinette Giotto. You can probably just do it in one skein, but that depends how big you want the scarf to be. It's meant to be a skinny scarf with dramatic ends.

Cast on a LOT of stitches (like, well over 100. Depends how long you want the scarf to be, and it's probably not the best time to use the longtail cast on! I used the loop method, or at least, I think that's what it is called). Gauge is only relevant in that you might want to figure out how long the scarf will be. I did one on US 10.5's, but this one's on 13's. They're both nice for different reasons.

Anyhow, the body of the scarf is in garter stitch, knit lengthwise. This one has about 20 rows. But make yours however wide you want it to be. When you cast off, instead of breaking the yarn and pulling through the final stitch, use that as the first stitch as you pick up one stitch for each garter row going across the end of the scarf. Knit each stitch. Next row: Knit into the front and back of each stitch. Knit 3 rows plain. Repeat increase row. Knit 3 rows. Knit F&B, K1, Kf&b, K1 until end of row. K 1 row, then bind off. Unless you want your flounce bigger, then make it bigger.

Pick up stitches on the other end of the scarf and repeat the flounce. Sew in the ends, and voila! A flouncy scarf. It shouldn't take very long at all. And if you make it, post a photo on your blog and let me know!

We Apologize

For not blogging earlier. The problem is, yesterday turned out to be a most annoying day, and we were just in no mood.

It started out at the UPS store. The man behind the counter was an idiot, not to mention the store policies ridiculous. The basic story is that when I was in New Orleans I bought some stuff from a shop and had it shipped. Well, two boxes came. I was sort of surprised but, just... whatever. Turned out the second box was not, actually, for me, but for someone in Chicago who'd been attending the same conference I was there for. So when the store called me to inform of this mix-up, I offered to simply ship it on to Chicago.

Well, I had to know which box it was, right? So I opened the box in question which only meant that at UPS it had to be resealed, right? (What, you think I can find any packing tape in this mess I call a home?) Well, the obnoxious store ass said that would cost $1.50 to tape the box back up.

"$1.50? For one piece of tape?" I was flabbergasted.

"No, we have to tape the center and the sides," he informed me, although somewhat mumbly.

Then he started helping someone who was behind me in line.

He also offered that if I didn't want to pay them $1.50 to have them tape the box up, I could buy one of their rolls of tape. For $5.59.

Then he helped the other guy who came in after me, even though I was done with the little form and ready to pay and be done with the bullshit.

So finally he takes my form and starts typing all the data into the computer, and asks me to kindly respell words which I have already typed most clearly. And the worst part? He offers me a rate of $100-something to send this box to Chicago. The contents of the box are probably not even worth $100. (Well, they probably are, but it's not anything that needs overnight shipping.) And during the entire conversation, he never speaks clearly and I have to ask him to repeat just about everything he says. Mind you, I work in customer service and deal with tons of thick accents and usually understand almost everything. Finally, I get him to inform me that the cheapest rate is $19 and change. So I say, that's fine. He tells me a total, and when he hands me the receipt, I see that he's charged me the shipping fee plus something for $2.00. Of course, I enquire what that might be. Lo and behold, it's the tape.

"You said the tape was $1.50"

"The store rate is $2.00."

"Well then why did you tell me it was $1.50?"

It went on like that for a moment or two, before I simply decide to leave and toss a couple of expletives around.

Wonder if the box will ever get there.

There was something else that happened later in the night which was actually more irritating than UPS-Gate, but it's too work related to blog about. Sorry!

Suffice it to say that I was in such a bad mood when I got home last night that I didn't knit a stitch. I only ate Reeses Cups and then went to bed. Even when I woke up this morning, I was still upset, so I just went back to bed.

Now I'm up, though. And tonight should be better, as I'm going to the "South Pacific" concert at Carnegie Hall, starring Reba McEntire, Brian Stokes Mitchell & Alec Baldwin.

Another Flouncy Scarf

I still have to make the flouncy part on the other side. This will be a gift for the flower girl at my sister's wedding next weekend. She loves pink, so of course when I found another skein of the bubble-gum pink Giotto, well, I knew that another scarf like this is in order. (Never mind that the ends still aren't woven in on the first one and it's hiding somewhere in my apartment...)

Anyhow, if you're detail oriented and curious, you'll note that the scarf is dangling in front of one of my most prized possessions and also one of my dearest creations, a copy of "Nichols Canyon Road" by David Hockney, which I painted myself in school. It hangs over my sofa and I frequently regard it with a look of, "Wait, what? I painted that?" It's still, even though it's 13 or 14 years old, a revelation.

By the by, the length of the scarf and one of the flounces took up two not ver long evenings of knitting. Yay!

Another Weekend Over

So I had a fun weekend, although tiring and not quite as knitful as I would have hoped. Friday was busy at work, but I actually met a famous Olympian which was cool.

Saturday, my mom and dad were in town, so we went out to dinner after work, and it was a nice meal. We went to Osteria al Doge in the theatre district, and can you believe it? Marcia Cross was at the next table! (She plays the Desperate Bree Van de Kamp and used to play one of TV's most excellent bitches, Dr. Kimberly Shaw of "Melrose Place"! So that was cool!)

Then Dad and I went to see "Spamalot" while Mom took my cousin to see "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels." The show was a lot of fun, but the actress who won the Tony tonight, Sara Ramirez, was out sick and her understudy was just not as good as she is (it was the second time I saw the show).

Then we had cheesecake at the Carnegie Deli! Yum!

Tonight after work, Chinese food (although I'm not sure Hunan Ostrich totally qualifies as Chinese, and my friend's stir-fried alligator with califlower? Well, who knows. It was yummy. And tasted sort of like chicken...)

Then I got home and watched some TV (although I stupidly forgot to TiVo the Tonys so I have reruns of "Desperate Housewives" and "Gray's Anatomy" waiting for me. And I finished the hood, meaning all that's left is blocking, sewing ends and seams, and we'll have a Pinwheel Sweater. And we have so much Blue Sky Cotton left over that we'll have to create some other projects. Yay, more yarn to put in my stash!

I Could Go For Miles and Miles...

Miles and miles of stockinette, at any rate:

It's actually a greener color than that. A really cool color. And it's really not miles and miles. But there are two sleeves, a back, and about two-thirds of a hood. And a front:

That's the great thing about sweaters for small children. (At least when they don't have crazy intarsia things going on in them.) You can knit them up really fast. Especially if you have two days off from work and barely leave the house. I could use more weekends like that. Seriously, if I didn't have to pay for the apartment, the electricity to run the TV, the light to knit by, the yarn, the food, etc., I'd just quit the job and sit around and knit all the time.

Well, probably not, but on some levels, isn't it a great thought? Nothing to do but knit... bliss!

Nothing Exciting

Or at least, no exciting photos.

I finished the front. It was odd, the instructions said that when you're done the piece may "appear concave" and I really didn't understand what that meant. Until it was done, and it is, indeed, concave. However, the pattern assures that will be dealt with in blocking.

I have to say, I'm very proud of myself for my attention to decent knitting. I actually ripped out two sections and reknit them. I'm waiting for photos until I'm a bit further along with the back (which is already over 4" long...)

So what with blocking and everything, I won't be seaming this up tomorrow at Boyz Nite (I mean, I haven't even started the hood), but I hopefully will show up. I'm not 100% sure if I'll go, because I have a long day with an early start on Saturday -- 8:00am work, 6:00pm dinner with the parents followed, most likely, by seeing "Spamalot" with Dad. So I probably will want to get my beauty sleep, but we'll see.

And we'll also see, soon, more knitting photos.

Promise!

Good Day, Sunshine!

Today was a long day at work. It was made longer by two things.

1) Knowing it was sunny outside.

2) Knowing that tomorrow would be the first day in over a month that I have a day off with absolutely nothing planned. Meaning that I could, oh, perhaps, knit?

3) (whoops, there's three!) Knowing that I could soon go home and knit more on the pinwheel:

It may be hard to tell from the photo, but there are four full squares, and one and a half squares of the next largest size more than were done last night. It's amazing to watch the geometry of the growth of the pinwheel. Each progressive triangle is only four stitches wider, at the base, than the previous row, but they are so much bigger! (Yes, I took high level mathematics in college, and I still find this baffling. Can you see why I dropped engineering to major in art?)

If I work really hard tomorrow and Thursday, I might be able to actually take the sweater to Boyz Night and work on seaming it there. That'd be swell!

Mmmm, I'm going to go sleep now, and not set an alarm clock. Yay!

PS: Oh my God, is David Beckham a hot hot hot hot man!