The Jon Blog

It's Really Windy, Carol!

So my favorite thing about the hurricane this weekend was that my parents and I stayed up late to watch it on TV.

There's something really bizarre about on-camera reporters standing outside in torrential rain, and basically saying not much more than, "The rain's coming down sideways," or "Yup, this is worse than the last hurricane," or "Ooh, see that? That's part of the roof of my hotel and it just fell off."

We had a lot of fun making fun of them as they tried to maintain their composure. I did not admit to the fact that I rather enjoyed watching Anderson Cooper be soaking wet all over. Mmm, wet Anderson!

At one point, we decided that it would be even more amusing to watch the conservative asshole reporters have to stand out in the middle of a terrible storm, so after much wondering over the channel number (What, you think my parents ever watched FoxNews before?), we watched them get wet, too, and this was infintely more enjoyable than watching staff from CNN or The Weather Channel get soaked.

We still flipped between the channels, though, which turned out to be a good thing -- at least as our amusement was concerned. Because there, about 1:15 on Saturday morning, right up on CNN's screen, live broadcast, the guy said, "Well, it's real windy, Carol," or something close. He kept saying how hard it was to stand up in the wind. And he promptly was blown over. Fell down. Behind some bushes. That couldn't be fun. And it took CNN way too long to cut back to Carol (or whatever her name was) in the studio.

And what did she do? Proceeded to try and have her in-studio "expert" guess how fast the gust that blew the guy over must have been. They agreed it had to be over 100mph. Of course it did, you stupid fucks, it was a category 3 hurricane at that point!

Anyhow, now that Jeanne, or at least the rainstorm that is left of her, is here in NYC, I have to shower (inside) so that I can trudge through the rain to get to work so I can help all the evacuated Floridians and such-like.

In other news, I think the Kerry-Edwards campaign offered me a job last night. God, I wish I could take it... but I really do need my "real" job to still be there for me in November, which it wouldn't be if I left to join the campaign. Oh well. I'll volunteer a bit or give some money or wear a t-shirt. Plus, we're in NYC... it's not like he has a hell of a lot to worry about here, right?

I have more ranting about the election to do, but I'm going to save that for tomorrow...

Well I'm Not Going to Fast...

So I decided to go spend Yom Kippur with the parents. Yes, I'm ostensibly Jewish, although I haven't done anything remotely religous (aside from at funerals) in the last 10 or so years. But something about losing my last remaining grandparent made me decide that I need to spend more time, when I can, being close to my parents, and since this is important to them, I figure I'll tag along. I have reserved the right to excuse myself to the hall should the whole religious thing be too much for me.

Speaking of things that are just too much for me, I saw "The Oldest Profession" last night at the Signature Theatre. Strange play. Real strange to see women who are probably older than my grandmother was tramping it up on stage. Katherine Helmond, I mean you! When I worked at Williamstown in the early 90's, we thought she was old and odd, and now it's 11 years later and, well, she's older... and so when she's in a really revealing costume, well, it's just creepy. She did a good job with the role, though, I think... I'm still not sure what to make of the play. What I can tell you is that Mary Louise Burke and Priscilla Lopez are wonderful actresses. I kept wanting Miss Lopez to burst out into some big ole Fosse number. I think she'd be a better Charity than Christina Applegate, regardless of the age difference.

The play is by Paula Vogel, and it's about a bunch of aging whores in 1984. The political jokes still ring true, the whore jokes are creepy (I mean, I gues I know that women that old have sex, but I guess I didn't want to know about it which means I guess I went to the wrong play?), and there's something amazingly wrong about watching Katherine Helmond, aka Jessica, aka Mona, call Priscilla Lopez a bitch... or to see her (KH, not PL), with a switchblade... Or to hear any of these women, all of whom are old enough to be grandmothers, speaking words that would make a politically correct sailor blush a shade of beet red. I'm intrigued to see what the reviewers will make of it.

At least I know the next play that they're doing, and I know it's poignant and beautiful. ("The Baltimore Waltz")

Tonight was my first evening for the season at the Metropolitan Opera House. Ben Heppner, all 30000 pounds of him, sang Verdi's Otello, and Barbara Frittoli was a lovely Desdemona. The child who sat next to me for the first half, though, needed to have been better behaved. Luckily, his father asked the kid if he wanted to stay for the second half. The kid wisely went home. And not a single cellphone went off! Thank God for that. Now, if we can just get God to give us a hand with this election and get Bozo The Clown back to that village in Texas which has been missing its idiot for the last four years...

Something Has Broken

How on earth is The Artist Formerly Known as Cat Stevens a threat to our national security?

I can't believe that "they" denied him admission to the US and diverted his plane to Maine. (The plane in Maine stays largely on the brain...)

When I think of Yusuf Islam, I think of peaceful music. Sure, I find it a tad bit odd that he's become Muslim and changed his name, but then again, I've become my own version of a heathen, so who am I to judge?

Speaking of being a heathen or not, I have actually committed myself to going to temple on Saturday, which, for all you non-Jews out there, is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year. I don't know quite how I'm going to do it, but I do know why: respect and love for the 'rents. I don't see them enough as it is, so when the schedule at work said "Does anyone want an extra day off?" I figured I could play the Jewish trump card and actually take the holiday. And it will be wonderful to see Mom and Dad. I think Mom may have even shed a tear or two when I told her I wanted to come home for the holiday.

We're also going to see my sister's future in-laws, so it will be a very appropriately "family" moment... And me, again, with no husband. Oh well!

Wow.

Ok, if any of you out there are in NYC and appreciate really phenomenal food, all I can say is:

Get thee to 5th Street. Jack's Luxury Oyster Bar is a revelation. I went with my friend JR, with whom I went to Per Se. We liked the food at Jack's LOB better. Better, I tell you. Plus, there were cute guys at the next table and a fun chef who I got a hug from at the end. She's a she, but still, a hug is a hug.

And I got really shit-faced drunk, too. I think I needed that.

What I Think.

About the resident, not about the House.

And yes, I know I should stop biting my nails...

And We're Off!

In collaboration with my recent pseudo-political involvement with the Republican Convention, I'm off to DC in the morning. It's actually my first ever business trip (at least, that's not for a convention-y thing). So I'm rather excited about that.

Plus, since it's work related and I work in the hotel biz, I was able to finagle a pretty great deal on my room down there. Which I promptly compensated for by going out for sushi this evening.

Well, there's a price for everything... and my price is sushi!

See you in a couple days!

Cane-al Knowledge

Canes are strange. I mean, they're normal things for most people who need them, I suppose, but in the past few days, I've seen a couple canes in uncompromising positions, and I feel compelled to tell you about it.

Cane number one was a wooden number, with red and yellow stripes on it. Where did I encounter said cane? In a New York City Taxicab. Someone had left it in the back seat. I can understand a cellphone falling out of a pocket, or even leaving a newspaper, but how do you leave a cane in the back of a cab? I had a vision of a healing evangelist laying hands on a cripple in the back of this cab shortly before my trip... thus rendering the cane useless to the former cripple. I decided this was extremely unlikely.

Cane number two was an amusingly odd fashion statement witnessed on Saturday evening at BLTSteak on 57th Street between Park and Lexington. There was a very fashionable woman who was exiting the restaurant, walking with the assistance of a cane. And wearing 3" heels. I mean, if you need a cane, doesn't that mean you probably don't walk well enough to be wearing heels? Ladies? Any comments here? The bartender (female) agreed with me that it was strange...

So those are the two interesting canes I've seen in the past few days. Who knows what interesting canes I shall come across in the days to come.

How The World Can Change; It Can Change Like That...

RIP, Mr. Ebb.

We'll miss you.

Lots.

A Tad Scandalous

The Times Refuses Reprint in Moore Book.

Isn't that odd? The article says that The New York Times was the only desired source which denied permission for Michael Moore to reprint in "The Farenheit 9/11 Book."

What makes it oddest is perhaps the fact that The Times is covering their own denial in their own paper...

A Change Will Do You Good

I've changed two parts of my daily routine recently... and although I was skeptical, both seem to be working nicely so far, knock wood.

The first? My asthma medication. I've taken Albuterol, aka Proventil or Ventolin or Salbutamol, for as long as I can remember. Seriously, I don't ever recall not having an inhaler. Lately, though, my father's been on my case that there are a lot of newer, more effective asthma medicines which have less severe side effects. (I've had a minor case of the shakes for as long as I can remember, too, and it's known to be a side effect of the medicine.)

So when I was at the doctor's office Wednesday, as a follow up for the back problems and also more of a general check-up, I asked for a change in my asthma medicine and was given a sample and a prescription for Advair and told that my use of the albuterol is an addiction to it as much as anything else. My doctor essentially forbade me from using it. And so far, since starting the new stuff, I really haven't even wanted to use the old stuff at all. Surprise!

The other switch is more mundane: I was at the drug store the other day, as I needed some deoderant/anti-perspirant... and they seem to be phasing out the kind I've used for a long time. Then I thought to myself, "Self, it never worked all that amazingly well anyhow." (I know, you're thinking, "Ew, TMI!" -- Get over it - it worked just fine.) So the new stuff seems to be working well, probably better than the old stuff... Now I can raise my hand... I'm Sure! (Sorry, that was corny...)

So that's that... and we see that change can be a good thing at The Jon Blog.

I Love Weird Headlines

Intern MD Injects Patient with Olive Oil.

Or how about:

Prisoners Breed Spiders for Venom High.

There's more out there, and I promise to keep finding 'em.

Addendum:
Home Depot hits Manahttan. I thought (prayed?) that we were safe from the mega-store here in this island of limited real estate. God, was I ever wrong...

Rudy Who?

"Most Voters Want Giuliani to Run for President"

E-fuckin-gads.

Excuse me, but didn't the majority of New Yorkers (at least, everyone I remember talking about him with) hate Rudy Giuliani just about every day he was in office up to and including Sept. 10, 2001?

Taxi drivers couldn't stand him. Remember his drive to try and rid the city of hot dog vendors? Or his ridiculous focus on the character of 42nd Street and 8th Avenue, which has now become Disneyland NY?

In his defense, he did preside at a time which saw quite a lovely drop in New York's crime rate. But at what price? Our roads are in horrible condition, our schools are worse than they perhaps ever were, the city's budget is all over the place...

He only gained favour with most New Yorkers or at all on the national scene, when he played charismatic leader in the face of disaster. And that's the disastrous platform that President Bush is running on, too.

Let me tell you this: it doesn't cut it. To lead, lead for the future. Don't give me this "I was great in a crisis" speech. Give me roads. Give me schools. Give me porn shops on Eighth Avenue and hot dog carts in Central Park. Give me government that does something for me every day, not just when terrorists blow things up.

I'm not trying to discount the enormous committment that Giulani showed to the city in the days and months after 9-11-01. I'm simply trying to say that there's a lot more to being a mayor, and a HELL of a lot more to being a president, than there is to that.

Annoying Bastards with Confetti

Three Hours I'll Never Get Back!

So as you may have figured out, I've been volunteering at the Republican National Convention. Not that I'm in favor of Republicans or anything. I mean, I'm voting for John Kerry, and tonight reinforced my confidence in my vote even more. Because while I was working at my little desk, not too far away from the Garden floor, I was offered a pass to go into the Garden and listen to the evening's speeches. And even thought I knew I wasn't going to like what anyone had to say, I thought it would be an interesting moment. Plus I like to know what I'm talking about if I'm going to be criticizing something...

Let's just say that everything the Republicans say is a misrepresentation, including 'and' and 'but.'

I listened to Zell Miller. I was appalled. I listened to Lynn Cheney. Whatever. I listened to Dick Cheney and basically wanted to puke. I seriously felt nauseous.

I watched a lot of the coverage of the DNC on C-Span. They talked some about why they wanted Bush out of the White House. But they talked about what their plans were, about what they want to do.

The Republicans only talked about why they hate John Kerry and what they feel they "earned" because of Bush's being in the White House on 9-11. They're riding on a wave of non-partisan support for this historic event and a wave of hatred for those who they don't understand -- even to the point that when Dick Cheney posed with his "family" at the end. Guess who wasn't standing there with them all? Yup, you guessed it. The lesbian daughter was strangely missing.

And how about this: Cheney said,

In his years in Washington, John Kerry has been one of a hundred votes in the United States Senate -- and very fortunately on matters of national security, his views rarely prevailed. But the presidency is an entirely different proposition. A senator can be wrong for 20 years, without consequence to the nation. But a president -- a president -- always casts the deciding vote. And in this time of challenge, America needs -- and America has -- a president we can count on to get it right.

Excuse me? I don't entirely remember high school civics and government, but since when does a president vote for anything? If there is a deciding vote to cast, isn't it the Vice President, as the "President of the Senate" or something like this, who casts the deciding vote? I'm real glad that Dick understands his job description so well... and his boss's too!

Another thing I have to say is this: Do you remember a lot of boo-ing at the DNC? Well there was a boatload of booing tonight. The whole thing just felt overly (and unneccesarily) negative. And I really just don't get how so many people could fall for their mumbo-jumbo.

To make matters even more fun, we could mention Mitt Romney, the Governor of Massachusetts, who spoke against gay marriage and other things. And in my opinion, the only "emotional" part of what he had to say was a story he borrowed, from Olympic speed skater Derek Parra. He talked about Parra carrying the WTC flag from 9-11 into the opening ceremonies of the Salt Lake City Olympics. It was a nice story, but I thought it was inappropriate for more than one reason. First of all, it was essentially hearsay. He was co-opting someone else's story for someone else's political good, which is a lot of crap in my opinion. Second of all, it was another one of these moments where they basically were saying, "We were in power when a bunch of people died in a horrible disaster, and we should stay in power..."

Here's what I have to say: on the international scene, there's so little respect for the American government. There was a huge amount on 9-12-01, and we've managed to lose all of that support. Personally, I place the blame for that on one person. And I'll give you a clue. His middle initial is W.

So can you blame me for wanting to puke all evening?

Un-American!

Michael Riedel in the Post on Tracy Turnblad, George H.P. Bush, Bill Clinton, "Chicago" chorus girls, and the lines, "We Want Billy" and "Manipulating the judicial system just to win a contest is un-American!"

Hehehehe!

A Long Day

I was up before 6:30am... at the Convention by 9:00am, and there until just after 3:00pm. At my "real job," I got to bad-mouth Rick Santorum with a Republican from Wyoming. That was fun.

I've been on TV, on the internet, and it's all kind of interesting.

Don't worry, though, it's not like I'm about to turn into a Republican. I even told a fairly major conservative news outlet that I'm voting for John Kerry.

And now it's 1:00am and it's bedtime!